What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
