best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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