so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
