well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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