ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
