i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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