You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
