her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
