i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize