I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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