the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
