why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
