I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
