got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
