You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
