Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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