remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
