Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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