at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize