Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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