I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
