you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize