ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
