if you like me you must not know who I am
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
