i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
