She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize