Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize