the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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