This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
