i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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