She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
