And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
