how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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