I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
