He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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