He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
