Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
