So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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