she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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