hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize