I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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