He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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