does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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