As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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