Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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