Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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