I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
