I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
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