We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
