Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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