Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
