I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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