You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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