all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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