Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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