seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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