I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
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we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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