Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
