I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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