Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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