My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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