My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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