Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
