Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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