Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
