Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
