Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
